I have none. But I have a question-and-answer meme worthy of Charlie Rose.
1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
Hell, no. You gotta see your doom hurtling towards you in order to properly enjoy the ride. Also, don't eat amusement park nachos before riding the coasters. Or funnel cakes. Trust me, folks.
3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
It was probably December 1989, when I went sledding with a couple of high school friends, went daredevil by kneeling on a kettle sled, and ended up going face first into the snow and losing my glasses. I saw sparks.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
That kind of depends on whether the someone else could deal with my snoring.
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Creativity really isn't the problem.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Whoever it was also killed someone else, you know. I'm kind of bugged that a double murder is so readily reduced to a game of Clue.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Kate Winslet. If we're talking celebrities (and really, why are we always?), that'll always be my answer.
9. Do you stay friends with your ex's?
I used to be really bad at this. I held grudges. But in recent years I've managed to do it.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes. I'm a bad bluffer, though.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yes, but I have no memory of the last 12. At least, that's what I told the cops.
12. What's your favorite commercial?
What a sad, sad, question. That said, I loves me some John Hodgman in those Mac commercials.
13. What are you allergic to?
Ragweed. I used to be allergic to bee stings, feathers, dog and cat hair, cloves, Aqua Net, pressed wood, agate, "literature," and costume dramas. I remember going to the clinic and the doctors using my back as a canvas, exposing my skin to 784 known substances and then taking notes about the reactions directly on my skin. Seriously. I think it was a pencil. A really, really sharp pencil. I got allergy shots every week for a while, then they put me on medication, then I went back on the shots when the medication didn't work. Two years in a row, during the high school hockey tournaments (if you lived in Minnesota you would know that the high school hockey tournaments are a season unto themselves), I had violent reactions to the shots which only manifested after we left the clinic. See, you were supposed to wait a half hour, I think it was, after getting the shot, to be sure you didn't have some terrible reaction. Apparently a half hour wasn't long enough. Both times we were driving home when suddenly I couldn't breathe. One time my mom drove the wrong way down a one-way street trying to get me back to the clinic. A shot of adrenaline cleared it all up, though. Funny thing about allergies, though, is you can outgrow them. So I'm not as sniffly and pathetic as I once was. Well, sniffly, anyway.
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?
See question 1.
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Not as far as you know.
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
You're joking, right? Not everyone lives on the East Coast. Unless you're asking which one I hate more, in which case it'd be the Yankees hands down.
17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yes, but I really don't have the ankles for it.
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Lately, more often than usual. Which is not necessarily a good thing, as they are weird enough that I am disturbed by my brain.
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
Hm. Probably at WisCon.
20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
Is this a challenge? Am I supposed to go off on one of those "Kids these days" sort of rants? I refuse to take the bait.
21. What's the one thing on your mind now?
Jesus, if it was only one then I'd be practically comatose.
22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is?
23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Only when I'm in the car.
24. What cell service do you use?
Sprint, but they SUCK and I'm switching ASAP.
25. Do you like Sushi?
Yes. It's been a while, though.
26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
Duh. If I hadn't avoided it, I wouldn't be answering this meme.
27. What do you wear to bed?
Oh, you. Wouldn't you like to know! (Giggle.)
28. Been caught stealing?
I was five, I think? My second cousin had a glow-in-the-dark plastic ghost, but we couldn't tell if it worked because it was broad daylight. So I put it in my pocket, 'cause it was dark in there. Ah, but in fact it was part of my cunning plan! Mom was not happy.
29. What shoe size do you have?
Why? Are you buying me magic slippers?
30. Do you truly hate anyone?
Honestly, I don't think it's worth the energy. Even the Decider and his cronies, I hate what they do, but I don't actually hate them. That's really giving them more power than they deserve. So I guess the answer is no. Except for those people who cancelled Firefly.
31. Classic Rock or Rap?
32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Oh, good, again with the celebrity worship.
33. Favorite Song?
At the moment it's Christina Aguilera's "Ain't No Other Man." I can't help it!
34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
Who needs this information? Although now that I think about it, I can't recall doing so, no.
35. What food do you find disgusting?
Anything with alfredo sauce.
36. Do you sing in the shower?
No, I play drums.
37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"?
38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
No. Not you, anyway.
39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
40. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Only the once. I was working as a dishwasher at a steakhouse my senior year in high school. The glamour! I had given my two weeks notice, and on my last night there the other dishwasher had a chip on his shoulder. Actually, he had pretty much the whole potato. He told me to leave him alone, and when I was unable to turn off the sarcasm, he popped me right in the nose. Backed me right up against the Hobart. I told him to get out and I had the pleasure of finishing the shift all by myself. By the next morning I had two black eyes.