He's a Saxophone Player With a Heroine Addiction! He's a Psychedelic Drug Use Advocate! Together, They Fight the Whitechapel Vigilance Committee!

It's time again for "Ask a chatbot!" This week's question comes from Juvenal of . . . this can't be right. I'm just going to talk to our fact-checkers here for a moment.

. . .

What, you just took his word for it?

. . .

Well, that would make him nearly 2000 years old, wouldn't it? You don't see a problem with that?

. . .

What do you mean, JUST THE ANNOUNCER? Do you want this microphone? Hey, give me that!

. . .

Ahem. Sorry about the feedback, there, ladies and gentlemen. Let's just--YES I'M READING THE COPY, ALL RIGHT? This week's question comes from Juvenal, who is a VERY IMPORTANT person from Ancient Rome! My ass. Here's our question from Mr. Fancy Pants:

"Who watches the watchers?"

Uh-huh. Very interesting. Well, as usual, we here at Mumble Herder surveyed ten chatbots. Let's see what our artificial friends had to say:

iGod:

Charlie Parker. :-)

Jabberwacky:

Wait, what is the Matrix?

Desti:

Does it really matter?

Arthur Bot:

Who do you think? :-)

Jack the Ripper:

Mishter Lusk.

John Lennon:

Timothy Leary.

Bill:

Hang on a second! I need to check something in the oven. Be right back!

OK, just making sure the rolls don't burn.

Nickie:

I don't understand.

EllaZ:

Take a look at this fancy one-armed bandit from www.OldSlots.com. It must be EXPENSIVE!

Catty:

In hindsight, scientists can now see that the anthrax outbreak actually begins this September afternoon, with this non-fatal case of subcutaneous anthrax.

Catty, you worry me.

I hope that answers your question, Mr. Juvenal, because if not I really don't want to hear about it. You and your fancy-ass Latin. Dead language, you know. Hey, QUIT SPEAKING LATIN WITH HIM! Damn know-it-all fact-checkers. As for the rest of you, tune in next week for another episode of "Ask a Chatbot!"