The Rhetoric of Failure

There was a dude outside the CTA station handing out energy drinks this morning. I shouldn't have taken one. I'm way too hyper to be at the office. (In case you're curious about MONSTER:KHAOS ENERGY JUICE, it tastes like carbonated, sweetened orange juice and may cause you to sing Beatles songs in stairwells. I expect to start twitching any moment now.)

Last night Chris Elliott and Hugh Jackman were on Letterman, and Paul Schaffer's musical cues were . . . interesting. When Chris Elliott came out (with Gerard Mulligan, who also used to write for the shows and makes frequent appearances as everyone from Oprah to Brad Pitt), the band played a Police song. I knew it was a Police song, but it wasn't until after they did their bit--a pre-taped spoof on "Ghost Hunters" which was pretty funny--that I placed it as "Spirits in the Material World." (Hence the title of this post.) So, fairly clever. At least, I thought so until they played Hugh Jackman out, to the tune of Prince's "Jack U Off." Jackman even gave the band an extra look, as if to say, "Yeah, that's my song." It was a beautiful moment.

So I've been thinking about whether to do a Thanksgiving post. I have lots of things to be grateful for, particularly lately. Friends, good things on the writing front, the potential for political change. I'm thankful for those things, and if you're reading this I am thankful for you, specifically.

But I'm not sanguine with the universe. Our country is still fucking with other countries in unacceptable ways, and the best solutions our military minds can come up with come out of a football playbook. New Orleans is still in ruins, corruption is rampant, and I can't turn on my TV without being told about Tom Cruise or O.J. or Paris fucking Hilton. Not to mention how afraid everyone wants me to be, whether it's of people who pray but are not Christians or of terrorists in Congress. Hey, fearmongers? Fuck you. Go be afraid on your own time. I've got a life to live.

The election itself is not a change. It opens the door for changes, but it could also just mean a whole lot of the Same Old Crap. So while I'm thankful for the good things I have, I'm a greedy bastard. I want better, from our leaders and our citizens and myself. I know the posts here have been pretty shiny happy lately, but I reserve the right to be pissed off. Just to let you know, Universe.

I would also really like my uncle back. Tomorrow is going to be rather bittersweet.